Obsessions: A Personal Essay

Originally written in April 2017.

A methodical collection of lists about the way my obsessive behaviors manifest themselves…

The ways in which my obsessive behaviors have benefitted me in the past: expanded my knowledge, helped me be accepted at university, kept my room tidy, and earned me the title of being “most likely to own The Container Store.” 

The ways in which my obsessive behaviors have not benefitted me in the past: I can sound like a know-it-all sometimes, my panic attacks are not fun, my bank account has been known to teeter-totter, and my stomach is rarely ever content. 

The places in which my obsessive behaviors are apparent: my ridiculously tidy bedroom, my perfectly organized dishwasher, my purse containing multiple smaller bags to separate different categories of items, and my closet where everything is immaculately separated.

The subjects that my obsessive behaviors have helped me learn about: anything pertaining to postmodernism (primarily art, architecture, literature, and design), the judges on The Voice France, agriculture, British council housing, and gluten free living. 

The concerts I have attended because of my obsessive behaviors (an estimate): three Local Natives concerts, four Laura Marling concerts, two Whitney concerts, and not enough Loyle Carner concerts. 

The number of plants I own due to my obsessive behaviors (within one small bedroom): six large succulents, three small succulents, one large leafy green plant, and three bottles containing various dried flowers.

The lists that I have made due to my obsessive behaviors: movies to watch, Ryan Gosling movies to watch, books to read, prospective jobs, things for Mom to bring me, things for me to bring back to the States, places I would like to live, places I would like to visit, people I need to contact, places I need to go in Paris, coffee shops I love in Paris, things I wish I could go back to school for—and really too many more to include in this already tremendously shortened list.

The ways in which my obsessive behaviors are displaying themselves right now: through this innocuously, annoying, and—probably—unnecessary list. 

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